Jenkin's Journal®

Half-Nekkid Thursday

2005-12-01T18:18:00.000-05:00

I've been following some of the Half-Nekkid Thursday blogs for quite some time, there are some mighty hot fucking whores out there in blogland, and of course there's the other 99.3% of you who should'nt even be showing a picture of your fingers let alone a nipple or butt cheek. I never thought about participating in this event until now, I happen to be blessed with an enormous penis and what better way of showing my female readership & the rest of you fags, than with a pose for Half-Nekkid Thursday.

Anal Hot Chocolate

2005-11-20T19:35:00.000-05:00

I remember one time a few years back, I was in Mexico with my family and we went on a boat trip to see some islands and reefs and shit. Unfortunately, I must've drunk the water or something, because I got a real bad case of Montezuma's Revenge (nasty diarrhea). I thank god that it hit me during our rest stop, and not on the boat itself.
I first felt a little cramping, so I asked a few Mexicans who were working a fruit stand where the bathroom was. I didn't know how to speak beaner and a turd was starting to peek out by the time I remembered "El Baño". They pointed me in the direction of a porta-potty. About five feet away, the floodgates opened and I shat my bathing suit, getting trouser chili all over the ground and the porta-potty. To top it all off,there was no toilet paper, I had to grab a leaf off a nearby tree and head to the ocean and wipe off as much as I could. Poor fuckers who used the shit filled bathroom next.

I'm Sorry, please forgive me

2005-11-07T18:26:00.000-05:00

I am completely disgusted, horrified, angry and ashamed of how Jews, Niggers and Indians have been treated in the past.Really anyone who's been mistreated, but especially those groups. I'm watching the movie The Pianist and I'm absolutely sickened at the horror of what Jewish people went through. I just want to put my arms around everyone that suffered and was tortured and/or killed or watched it happen to a loved one. Racism and prejudice are so destructive. When I think of how terribly white people have treated others in history I feel so ashamed, so dirty, I just hate myself for it. I know there were good ones who did all they could to help - risking their lives, even. But it can't make up for what the evil ones did. I'm so so sorry. Some of your ancestors lived through hell on earth. I'm just so terribly sorry. I wish there was a way I could erase it all.

Civil Rights Pioneer or Just Fucking Lazy?

2005-10-28T22:50:00.000-04:00

Was Rosa Parks a civil rights pioneer or was she just fucking lazy? That is one of the questions that I wanted answered in my recent interview with her just before she died. Back in 1992, Mrs. Parks said history too often maintains "that my feet were hurting and I didn't know why I refused to stand up when they told me. But the real reason of my not standing up was I felt that I had a right to be treated as any other passenger. We had endured that kind of treatment for too long." I just didn't buy that answer, which is why I arranged an interview to hear it from her personally, below is the actual transcript from my interview with Rosa Parks last week:

Earl: If you could have dinner with any one person, living or dead, who would it be?

Rosa: Bobby Brown

Earl: If you were a fruit, what kind would you be, and why?

Rosa: Good question, good question.....

Earl: Let's cut the bullshit, what was the real reason you didn't give up your seat?

Rosa: Ok Jenkin, you want the truth? I don't think you can handle the truth!

Earl: Spill it already.

Rosa: I was tired, my feets was swollen, bones be achin, ain't no fuckin way I was given up my seat for no fuckin cracker...you happy now? You got what you wanted?

Earl: Did you sleep with Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.?

Rosa: What? Who told you that?

Earl: Is it true that you had sexual relations with Bill Clinton?

Rosa: Listen here Jenkin, don't be coming up in here tryin to start shit.

Earl: What exactly is your thought process when a fella is dropping a batch of fresh man-juice on your stomach, chin, chest, nose, and/or forehead? Are you tuning out the whole experience, or are you thinking "Wow, this is doing wonders for my complexion!" ...?

Rosa: Get the fuck outta here you dirty swine.

You Ain't Big Boned, You're Just Fat

2005-10-20T16:52:00.000-04:00

I hate fat people. Whenever I see a fat person I think he or she is a disgusting, ugly, lazy, worthless slob. It's just a gut reaction that I can't seem to control. I see them in shops buying disgusting fatty food, meanwhile waddling and panting from the exertion of walking. I look at these people and my stomach just churns, and sometimes I even get angry at them for being fat. I can't stand to see fat obese disgusting people not doing anything to change. There all into this victim mentality where they'd rather blame everything else instead of the one person who could fix things: themselves. No one in this world has any excuse for being overweight. We know the kinds of exercise and low-calorie diets needed to stay in just moderate shape. We all know that looks are more important to happiness than anything else. So I just don't get it, is that slice of cheesecake really more important to you people than sex?

Just Say "NO" to Illegal Aliens

2005-10-15T12:26:00.000-04:00

Like the war on drugs of the 1980's we have a war that is going on that might even be more lethal than the drug war that is still being waged, and that is the war on Illegal Immigration. For their part, the illegal aliens – mostly from Mexico – want to escape the poverty of their country for the prosperity of ours. But millions of these illegals seem to have little desire to assimilate, and are slowly reforming the southwestern United States into the image of Mexico. Mexicans breed like rats and are going to eventually over run America. I think we need to do something about this problem before we become a 3rd world country. We’re going to have to come up with a strategy to stop illegal aliens and send them home.The U.S. government will never do this because our politicians and U.S. homegrown multinational corporations are gearing to keep our region of the world competitive with such formidable populations as China and India. The flooding of our country with impoverished, desperate workers is allowed as part of an economic strategy to lower the costs of labor in the U.S. Here is my plan to effectivly stop the influx of border rats:

1. Build a border fence where needed. Build it tall and make it hard to climb. With lots of broken glass and spikes and land mines.

2. Increase the number of armed border guards. With a shoot first ask questions later mentality.

3. Implement the Even Exchange Program™: For every tacomaker entering the US illegally we send one homeless bum to Mexico.

4. Ban illegal aliens from utilizing our social services including schools and hospitals – particularly emergency rooms.

5. Excessive punitive fines & jail time for those who employ illegal aliens (except for those in the lawn care industry.)

6. Make every legal American a deputy and place a bounty on illegals. I think $500 for a capture and $1000 for a headshot is a good start. A bonus of $200 if killed or captured within 3 miles of the border.

Race-Mixing is Risky

2005-10-12T22:10:00.000-04:00

When two distinct races are crossed, it is notorious that the tendency in the offspring to revert to one or both parent forms is strong, and endures for many generations.

Negro genes are dominant over that of a White by a 4-1 ratio. This means that any offspring from such a union will always favor the black parent, In the above example, the child clearly resembles the father.

Konnichiwa!

2005-10-08T09:55:00.000-04:00

I wove owientaw foo, I wiww usuawwy get whowe assowtment of diffewent foos, I like-ah da pawk fwied wice, wemon chicken is-ah goo too, gowwa hav-ah da wibs an chicken wings an some steamed dumpwings, an my favowite pawt is-ah weading da fowtune cooking, you just nevew know what nugget off wisdom wies within that.

In Thru the Out Door

2005-10-06T17:21:00.000-04:00

Whoever says the ass is only an exit doesn't know what there missing!

Number 71

2005-10-03T18:03:00.000-04:00

Today I was sitting on a bench in the county tax office waiting for my number to be called, and this mother and her little girl sat on the bench opposite me. The little girl was 8 or 9 I guess, wearing a dress. Well, she put her feet up on the bench with her knees in front of her to read some little book she had, so she is giving me an unobstructed view of her little panties. They are white and somewhat sheer, I could see the outline of her little pussy lips through them. I didn't get a boner but I felt very guilty trying to avoid looking at this little pussy on display and failing in my attempt. I tried looking for some hot babe I could occupy my mind with instead and failed at that too. I was glad when my number finally got called.

My Favorite Flavor is Grape

2005-09-29T18:30:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I fantasize about being Jim Jones. The thought of all those people out in the middle of the jungle, living in complete terror of me, forcing them to listen to me ramble on and on while I'm high on percodan and speed is utterly fantastic. And the fact that I could force any of them to have sex with me whenever & wherever I wanted is the icing on the cake. The only downside to this fantasy was most of his followers where black, I don't really care that much for black women, they don't really turn me on that much, unless they have a british accent, then I get an instant boner.

Information Overload

2005-09-23T08:05:00.000-04:00

Picture taken last week on the west coast of Florida.

Chili Con Carne

2005-09-22T18:39:00.000-04:00

I was really hungry today, so I got 2 burgers, fries & 2 bowls of chili from Wendy's. I ate everything except one of the bowls of chili, so I saved it for later...on my way home with the extra chili bowl, I passed a homeless guy. I thought to myself "Earl, what would jesus do? So I said to the guy, " hey man, are you hungry?" he percked up all excited and I hand him the bag. He opens it up and gets all pissed off and says " jesus fucking christ...no fork, what am I supposed to eat this with, my fucking hands?" so I said "well maybe there is a fork in there let me see." He handed me the food back and I opened it up and spat in the food and threw it down on the ground next to him, it took every bit of self restraint I had not to get out of my car and force feed the chili to that ungrateful fucker. Then on the way home I got the most wonderful idea of how to rid society of these worthless fuckers, Chili bowls laced with poison, it's fucking brilliant, I just have to remember to get extra forks.

Donkey's & Elephants...Fuck 'em both

2005-09-17T10:30:00.000-04:00

Friday, after my hour long, weekly therapy session, I was taking the elevator back to the lobby, and was listening to a conversation a few guys were having about politics & the welfare system, which got me thinking about how much I hate the idea that my hard earned money goes to pay for food, housing, beer, cigarettes, & recreational activities of welfare trash who sit on their collective asses and opt not to get a job. Every time I've driven through the ghetto at 1 or 2 in the afternoon, all I ever see is hundreds of shitholes walking up and down the street or partying on their front porches, it makes me hate government policies even more. For every one person who really needs government assistance, there are 8 more who just abuse the system. Why in every section 8 house is there a rent-to-own 62" big screen? If my tax dollars are going to go towards paying for the lives of worthless lazy ghetto dwellers, I want them to be out picking up trash off the streets or doing some other productive activity in return. I also want mandatory abortions of anyone who collects any kind of government assistance. Eventually they would all die off. That would be great.

Some Photos

2005-09-12T10:39:00.000-04:00

Jeckyll and Hyde

2005-09-11T11:08:00.000-04:00

I love everyone. I wish nothing but happiness and peace for every single person who reads and posts on my blog. I'm sick of all the negativity we spew out. The world pisses me off too, but wouldn't it be better to channel that energy toward making others happy and improving the world, rather than just complaining, and being sarcastic about everything, and trying to hurt other people for our amusement? I just think we should love one another.

Silence is Golden

2005-09-06T16:56:00.000-04:00

I like to change my speech when I talk to different people, not to make fun of them, just so they feel more comfortable around me. For example, if I'm at a stop light and a black guy wants to clean my windshield or sell me some candy bars, I'll talk to him all ghetto and cuss alot, jigaboo's love to cuss. If I'm talking to the Mexicans that take care of my yard I'll talk like a beaner, or if I'm getting some beer down at the liquor store I'll talk real slow & slur my words a bit for the white trash ditchpig behind the counter. However, I get confused when I'm in a mixed crowd, so in those situations I don't even speak at all.

Won't you be my Neighbor.

2005-09-04T09:19:00.000-04:00

I don't really care for my neighbor, never have, never will. He's never done anything to me, it's just that every time he looks at me he has this look on his face like he just bit into a lemon. I like to fantasize about grabbing him by the neck and slamming him into a wall, then tearing chunks of flesh off his face with my teeth like some kind of ravenous animal. Instead, I just took a whole bunch of my dog's shit and put it on his doorstep, then put a candle in it, rang the bell, and lit it. Happy birthday you grumpy cunt.

Mardi Gras ...Katrina Style!

2005-09-02T17:29:00.000-04:00

I secretly enjoy catastrophes and love to see scenes of mass destruction. Every hurricane season I hope for the biggest worst storm to wipe out a major city in the south, besides my own, finally my wish came true!

I was excited to see all the damage after hurricane Katrina. Natural disasters are always fun, and besides, any destruction to the south is a good thing. Fuck the stupid, poor negroes,& redneck piece-of-shit people that live there. Now I'm pissed my tax dollars are going to go to cleaning up that shit hole. Fuck that! They should just leave it as it is and have the people just fend for themselves. If they can't get by on their own resources, then oh well...they should have left when they had a chance, but they stuck around to loot and kill & rape...fuck em all!

To Kill or not to Kill...that is the Question

2005-08-30T19:21:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I like to plan the perfect murder. I have watched so many of those "Forensic detective" type shows on the Discovery Channel that I think I could do it. I have learned from other's mistakes, and know what clues they look for, and have thought of brilliant ways to disguise those clues and make them avoid them altogether with a variety of wild goose chases and confusing and conflicting evidence.

Fun Things To Do

2005-08-28T18:02:00.000-04:00

Whenever I go out drinking, which is quite often, I like to randomly walk around town, removing manhole covers. So far 3 people have fallen down the holes, and there's been
a big series of articles in the local papers. I'll probably keep on doing it. The thought of someone walking along and then just dropping down a hole makes me laugh.
You see it's the little things in life that make it so enjoyable.

Coach

2005-08-17T17:47:00.000-04:00

I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?" "Well," said Coach, "you never were really ON the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times." It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something is brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on.

Magic Tricks

2005-08-10T19:58:00.000-04:00

The next time I have meat and mashed potatoes, I think I'll put a very large blob of potatoes on my plate with just a little piece of meat. And if someone asks me why I didn't get more meat, I'll just say, "Oh, you mean this?" and pull out a big piece of meat from inside the blob of potatoes, where I've hidden it. Good magic trick, huh?

Deep Thoughts

2005-07-26T16:55:00.000-04:00

The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all pile into the car - I forget what kind it was - and drive and drive. I'm not sure where we'd go, but I think there were some trees there. The smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we played. I remember a bigger, older guy we called "Dad." We'd eat some stuff, or not, and then I think we went home. I guess some things never leave you.

Another Blog Traffic Exchange/ Sticky Post

2005-06-03T16:35:00.000-04:00

I recently joined BlogClicker and I'm getting great traffic from this site. If your looking to increase traffic to your blog, sign up for BlogClicker , another site that has increased traffic to my blog is BlogExplosion they are the pioneers of traffic exchange, I get a lot of page hits using them. A new site that I just started using is Blogsoldiers I seem to be getting good traffic from them. If you want people to see your blog, signup for any or all of the above, there all free. Tell em Old Earl sent ya!

Old Chinese Poem

2005-05-23T16:56:00.000-04:00

Here is a funny little poem I stumled upon. Hope you like it.

(Verse One)

ONE NIGHT
IN JUNE
STARS SHINE
BIG MOON
IN PARK
ON BENCH
WITH GIRL
IN CLINCH
ME SAY
ME LOVE
SHE COO
LIKE DOVE
ME SMART
ME FAST
NEVER LET
CHANCE PASS
WEDDING BELLS
RING RING
HONEYMOON
EVERYTHING

(Verse Two)

ANOTHER NIGHT
IN JUNE
STARS SHINE
BIG MOON
AIN'T HAPPY
NO MORE
CARRY BABY
WALK FLOOR
WIFE MAD
SHE FUSS
ME MAD
ME CUSS
LIFE ONE
BIG SPAT
NAGING WIFE
BAWLING BRAT
ME LEARN
AT LAST
ME TOO
DARN FAST

Sunday Comics

2005-05-22T00:49:00.000-04:00

What's your Secret?

2005-05-21T07:49:00.000-04:00

Everyone has a secret to tell. That is the idea behind Frank Warren's art project, "Postsecret."

The project started this past November when Warren, distributed 3,000 postcards at the beginning of Artomatic, a month-long independent art show in Washington, DC. The cards asked people to anonymously "reveal anything, so long as it is true and you've never shared it with anyone before." The secrets, Warren added, "can be a regret, fear, betrayal, desire, confession, or childhood humiliation." Some are funny, some are tragic, some are deeply unsettling, but almost all of them are just fascinating to look at - emissaries from dozens of tortured internal landscapes.

If you haven't been to the website, you are missing out on something really special.

BBQ Time

2005-05-20T22:32:00.000-04:00

Yep, it's that time of the year again. for most of you at least, here in Florida we BBQ year round. Just got back from my sister's house, had a nice cookout. I always end up cooking, which is fine by me, my steaks and ribs and chicken always come out moist and finger licking good! The secret is in the sauce. Nothing like spending an evening eating, drinking, & relaxing among good friends & family. Good night folks, see ya in the morning.

Picture of the Week

2005-05-18T16:49:00.000-04:00

Deep Thoughts

2005-05-16T16:24:00.000-04:00

When I was in the 3rd grade, a bully in school started beating me up every day. At first I didn't say anything, but then I told dad. He got a real scared look on his face and asked if the bully had a big dad. I said I didn't know. But he still seemed scared. And just a few days later we moved to a new town. Dad told me that if anyone picked on me, not to fight back. Unless I knew the kid didn't have a dad or the dad was real small. Otherwise just curl up in a ball.

-Jack Handey

Sunday Comics

2005-05-15T10:04:00.000-04:00

HELL TO THE CHIEF

2005-05-12T17:56:00.000-04:00

I haven't posted a poem in a few days so here is one that I stumbled upon that I think a lot of folks might like, while others might hate it. Let me know what you think about it. It was written by Chuck Sullivan.

Hell to the chief,
Now is the time,
To rid the White House
Of that presidential slime.

I am sure now that he
definitely did inspire,
The phrase we have all heard,
Liar, liar pants on fire.

What this nation needs now
is to have his residence vacated,
and to bring in the Orkin man
to have the White House fumigated.

Deep Thoughts

2005-05-10T15:33:00.000-04:00

If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while you're in there some guys come and seal up both ends and then put it on a truck and take it to another city, boy, I don't know what to tell you.

-Jack Handey

Sunday Comics

2005-05-08T08:42:00.000-04:00

Sunday Comics

2005-05-01T09:35:00.000-04:00

Bad Timing

2005-04-29T19:12:00.000-04:00

Here is a great poem by Faye Jones, she tells it like it is. Have a great night all.

Young-
We have guts and time,
But no means or wisdom!

Middle Aged-
We have guts and means,
But no time or wisdom!

Old-
We have means, wisdom and time,
But no guts!

Sunday Comics

2005-04-24T09:15:00.000-04:00

Drinking Man

2005-04-23T11:11:00.000-04:00

Hi all, this here is a poem that is near and dear to my heart, written by the great poet Tony Robles, if you like, drink a cold one in his name. Well I 'm off now to take a look at some more condos, I have 3 lined up today, then I will be heading over to the west coast (of Florida) to visit some family, I'll keep you posted.

Lord I know I have to die
Don't know when and don't know why
I want to die like a drinking man
I want to die with a beer in my hand

I don't want to go like cattle grazing
I want to go with cups a-raising
I want to die with my head to the sky
A beer in my hand and blood in my eye

I don't want to die from no disease
I don't want to die down on my knees
I want to go to the Promised Land
With an ice cold six-pack in my hand

Before they put me in the ground
Let me buy the final round
That's the way I want to die
A beer in my hand and blood in my eye

When they lay me in my hole
Say a prayer and bless my soul
Let them raise a solemn a toast
To me - the one who drank the most

The Devil Knocks

2005-04-21T18:13:00.000-04:00

This here is a great little poem from my good buddy Paco, hope you enjoy it.

Don't know if I've lied to the angels
Don't know if I've lived in sin
But when the devil comes a-knockin'
I just got to let him in.
Lie down not with lions tamed
Temperance and virtue are for the vain
In gin you'll find greater fame
For heaven lost is hell gained.

Welcome To Jenkin's Journal

2005-04-20T20:02:00.000-04:00

Welcome everyone , to Jenkin's Journal this is my first blog and I hope you enjoy yourselves, pull up a chair, grab a cold one, and let old Earl share a few of his thoughts with ya. I plan to delve into all sorts of topics, from what's happening locally to whatever might be happening around the world, I've seen alot in my short life and I've done almost as much, so I've got a few things to say and hopefully (the good lord willing) I'll be around a while to say it. Until my next post this is old Earl Jenkin wishing you and yours all the best.